Rebellious Sister

I have a 16 year old sister that is getting prettier each year. We talk a lot and I give her a lot of advice on everything ranging from school and to the arguments she has with our mom. Every time I come back home from college, my sister and mom always argue. Whether it is about her not finishing her chores or talking for hours on the phone. The last time I intervened and tried to be the mediator in their argument, my sister cried and my mom was enraged. Afterwards, I explained to my mom that I was not taking any sides, but was trying to squash the argument. Instead, I intensified the argument, and consequently felt discouraged.

Currently, I know my sister dislikes my mom, and thinks that she is ruining her life. I agree that my mom is very strict, and I tell her its because she cares for you. She doesn't think that makes any sense, but I know that when my mom yelled at her for coming back home late one night, she was just showing how much she worried for her daughter's welfare. Right now my sister is in that defiant stage in her life, but I always tell her to listen and try to avoid arguing. I also told my sister to agree with what my mom is telling her during an argument to quell it. Sometimes this does work and other times it does not. One time when my sister tried this, my mom thought she was being a "smart ass," and it made her more mad.

Sometimes I act like a father to my sister since she has none. One time when I had to drop her to school, she came out of her room with this really short skirt. I immediately told her to change into something more decent, and she came out wearing blue jeans. I feel that my sister is naive even if she is 16, but I know when she becomes an adult I cannot tell her what to do.

I see my sister maturing gradually, and taking on more responsibilities. She still talks to me about any problems she is having in school or at home. I continue to give her advice on all of her problems, but I realize that she will have to start solving her own problems because I don't always have the answers/solutions. For example, she asked me whether she should go out with this boy because she doesn't know whether she will get hurt or not. I never like to involve myself in her personal life, and I tell her that she will have to use her instincts to decide. Sometimes, I try to ignore my sister and not talk to her completely because I hate hearing about her personal life. I feel that she gives me too much information, whether it is who she likes or who she is going out with. She never tells my mom about her personal life and which boy she is goes out with because my mom would be infuriated. I hate keeping her secrets and not telling my mom, but I guess she trusts me a lot.

Anyways, my sister is still in her rebellious stage of life, and I hope that she gets out of it soon because it is only putting more distance between she and our mom. Hopefully, she will mature in the future, and will respect and love our mom more. I also hope she sees how much our mom has sacrificed for us to have such a good life without our father.